You could probably sense it coming. He was maybe a little bit nervous for the last few days. His friends have been acting weird. He made reservations at a restaurant that seems a bit fancy for your usual date night.
You’re sitting there in the restaurant; a bit nervous yourself. Then suddenly, there he is, down on one knee in front of everyone. He opens the little velvet box and inside is your ring… and it’s hideous.
You say “yes” of course, because you love this guy and do want to spend the rest of your life with him. But how do you say “that ring is not me in any way/shape/form and I very much do not want to wear it for the rest of my life, let alone the next 10 minutes”? Most women don’t want to come off as ungrateful or critical at one of the most memorable moments of her (and his) life. But the reality is, most women have dreamed of the moment when her true love asks for her hand in marriage and that imagined moment never included a ring that made her cringe and feel a little nauseated.
It’s not necessarily about the price of the ring or the size of the diamond. If your man is just starting out on the career ladder, or he’s in a field that just doesn’t pay insane money – or any of a thousand other reasons – he may not have a load of cash to spend on a ring. What every woman wants is a ring that is her.
So how do you avoid the cringe and instead end up with a ring you want to look at over and over again every day for the rest of your life?
Well it depends on the guy. Here are a variety of methods; it’s up to you to choose the right technique for your special fella.
Leave very obvious hints
Guys are, how you say… a bit dense sometimes. Especially when it comes to how things look. Sure they have their own preferences and probably think they have good taste, but when it comes to what you think looks good, you need to make sure you are very, very clear. VERY clear. Borrow a few bridal magazines from a friend (or buy a few), and mark the rings you love, whether with a Post-It or folding the page at a bit of an angle so it sticks out enough to be noticed. If you see another girl with a ring you love, tell her you love it and have your boyfriend take a good look at it. Explain exactly what you love about it.
Another good method is to look at rings online and leave the browser window open to one you want while you’re away from the computer (be sure to turn off the screen saver and/or sleep function).
Take him to the water (hopefully you can make him drink)
If you happen to be at the mall, do some window-shopping at jewellery stores. If you see a ring you love, point it out to him and explain exactly what you love about it. Don’t offer up too much unnecessary distraction; guys can only focus on one thing at a time. So if you see a ring you like don’t go “oh that ring is perfect! It’s just like Melissa’s ring! You know my coworker Melissa? The one with the dark hair who has the beagle? She rides a bike? Janette, not the beagle. She has a ring like that except it has baguettes on the sides and it’s platinum and has a slightly higher setting. Oh and the diamond is bigger. I prefer hers to this one.” If you look at him at this point it is 99% certain that his beautiful eyes are glazed over and all he heard was “that ring is perfect”.
Design your own ring
If you can draw a circle, you can design your own ring. Who wouldn’t love their most important piece of jewellery, that they wear daily for life, to be one-of-a-kind? Get a little pocket sketch book and draw out some rings. Circle the one you love the most and write something like “In my dreams” or something that sounds like something you would actually say. Leave it lying around. You should probably also draw some other things in the book so it doesn’t look so obvious. Some flowers maybe or maybe a description of your perfect wedding, or just a bunch of stick figures.
The most important thing to remember with all of these methods, is to choose your timing well. Do not start leaving browser windows full of diamond engagement rings when you invite a guy over for your second date, no matter how well you hit if off on the first date. You’ll want to be sure that your man is ready for that next big step, or that he’s at least beginning to consider it. He’s like a wild animal. Don’t make any sudden movements, and everything should be ok.